The other day while going to fetch my daughter from school, I overheard some anxious mothers whining about their toddlers who are too much dependent on them. Being a mother of a 2 year old, I kept wondering whether my daughter had learnt to be on her own or not! What it’s like to be an independent person for a toddler? While mulling over, I found a few reasons and am excited to share those with my readers.
A toddler’s sense of self discovery increases at a tremendous pace at the age of 2 and 3 and it’s time for parents to allow children derive security out of this new explored world. At this age, the child is both dependent and independent. The comfort of being dependent and the exciting world of discovery which is wrought with challenges, both make the time tumultuous for toddlers. The challenge is for the parents as well to deal with the prospect of child’s newly explored desire for independence. Parents should nurture the desire of self discovery in children by giving those options and choices of their own!
Cling to me or not?
Well, my two year old is always ready to pick the broom to sweep the house with great seriousness as I do! She seems to have a better understanding of the world through imitation. Children get a sense of security and show it in different ways through imitating the close ones in their circle of influence.
Allow your child to dust away the place when she wishes to considering her safety and health. It helps in learning to be independent.
My little one doesn’t seem to understand the idea of cooperative play but she loves to watch others
playing around. Though sharing is not a word added to her vocabulary right now and the things that
belong to her are solely hers. She is particularly possessive about her Purple Turtle Plush, who is her best friend too. Not only does she love to play around with Purple Turtle Plush all day long, but also enjoys putting it to sleep alongside. I am told she will start to share once she understands the concept of sharing.
Let‘s Handle Pressure:
Little Susie contradicts herself. She wants to boss around others and at the same time feels that she is being bossed too much! She has a hard time making her mind and then, soon she wants to change it. Sounds quite familiar isn’t it? At this age, our children like doing things just so, doing them in their own ways, and doing exactly as they always have done them. They turn furious when anyone intervenes or tries to rearrange what they have done. The battle between resistance and acceptance continues in the adulthood too unless one keeps a check on it.
The parent’s job is to keep interference to the minimum unless it is needed. They should allow the child to decide for herself. How to dress, how to bathe, how to eat and how to sleep, let the child decide in a desirable and safe set up to a permissible level.
Steer Pleasant Things, Set the Limits:
I set firm consistent limits for my daughter, but I remain flexible with where and what of those limits. If I say more often a “no”, then it’s time for me to hold on. I need to say a “yes” and a “no” to her equal number of times to make my job easy!
Well, a battle of wits with a 2 year old can be tiresome. Finding a right balance between what should be allowed and what not needs patience and understanding which in turn instills a belief in our children that they are competent and capable of taking care of themselves.
Try for yourself and for your children, it’s worth it!